Jamie was a first-time mum with strong instincts.

Although she kept an open mind knowing that her plans may change depending on the circumstances, these were the choices that felt most important to her:

• A physiological, undisturbed birth at home.
• No routine scans after 12 weeks.
• No vaginal examinations or monitoring of baby in labour.
• A gentle postpartum with her baby including a lotus birth (where the cord and placenta are left attached until they naturally separate) to allow a slower transition earthside for her baby.

But her clarity didn’t protect her from pushback.  Although she was a healthy woman, having a straightforward pregnancy, at every point of contact with the NHS, the focus was on risk, not because of any clinical concerns, but because she wasn’t following the usual script.

Her choices didn’t fit the system’s comfort zone.
She was referred for additional appointments with a consultant midwife for wanting to birth “outside of guidance”.

• Like the focus of one appointment mainly being on hospital CTG monitoring… despite no medical concerns to warrant that and also the fact she was planning for a homebirth.
• Like repeated pressure to scan for a “small baby” even though baby was well, moving, and growing on their own timeline.
• Like persistent phone calls.
• Uninvited home visits.
• Midwives showing up without warning to “check in.”

What was meant to be a calm preparation for birth at times felt like a battle to undermine her confidence and self-belief.

And that’s where I came in as her doula. Working together from 16 weeks, I deeply understood Jamie’s hopes and wishes for birth. My role was never to speak for her or to fight on her behalf but to walk beside her with evidence and empathy.

Together, we sorted through the noise. We looked at guidelines together, reviewed the actual data and returned to her why.  I was there to listen when she felt shaken after appointments and I helped her and her partner make informed choices that felt aligned, not fear-based.

And when labour began, Jamie was sooo ready – she birthed her perfectly sized baby at home, calmly and powerfully.

The space was quiet and protected.

Her partner and I supported her through breath, movement, affirmations, visualisations and touch.

She owned that birth – it was hers, in every sense.

And yes, she had her lotus birth.

Postnatally, I showed up for whatever was needed in the moment – breastfeeding support, making breakfast and bringing dinner to heat up later, space to talk through the birth and the experiences of those early days…just tuning in and offering what felt most nourishing that day.

Jamie’s birth wasn’t about rebellion, it was about alignment.

Birth doesn’t need to be micromanaged, it needs to be respected.

And when someone chooses a path that differs from the norm, what they need most isn’t fear, it’s support.

If you’re feeling pressure to comply with things that don’t sit right for you, if you want to plan a birth that honours you, not just the system, get in touch and I’ll share more about how I work with clients who want something different.