Home birth is sadly not a common occurrence in our society even though studies show it is “both safe and satisfying, that it leads to fewer interventions, a higher chance of breastfeeding success, and helps to make confident parents.”*  Which is why I was so glad when Tyler agreed to share her home birth story with us.  It wasn’t an easy journey, but Tyler knew what she wanted, did her research and made informed choices.  From navigating medical pressure to embracing the beauty of natural labour, Tyler’s story is both inspiring and relatable for any expectant mother.  Over to Tyler…

Embracing the Unexpected

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I dove headfirst into preparation. I read “Make Your Birth Better,” and because of this I really felt like a pregnant goddess full of knowledge, empowerment, excitement (and a baby!!) I planned for a homebirth and was totally organised, excited and on board with the process.

I had a really healthy pregnancy with no issues at all other than some sickness at the start and a little PGP towards the end when I had overdone it.  All of my scans shows expected growth and on trend measurements until 39 weeks.

The Bumps Along The Way

At 39 weeks there were concerns baby was small so I was sent for growth scans where they measured that the baby was supposedly static on the head and stomach measurements. All other fluid measurements were normal and showed healthy figures.  After waiting for two hours I spoke to a registrar who was abrupt and used forceful language as she stated that the risk of stillbirth was increasing and that I should be induced that day.  She told me that I would not be having the home birth I wanted as I would need continuous monitoring.

I was very upset by this as I had felt so confident and excited about my birth plan and labour at home. I challenged her on the measurements as I knew that scans at this stage of pregnancy are not extremely accurate and I asked her to give me exact figures to back up her advice.  As I shed tears she became more soft and gentle and said I was entitled to do exactly what I wished and that if I wanted to go home and wait I could – we practically ran out of the hospital!

I had been asked to go back for regular check ups where each time I found myself having to stand up to consultants questioning my plans – it was all extremely emotional and stressful.  My partner and family were getting concerned and suggesting to me that I should go ahead with the induction.

The last time I went into hospital was at 41+5 days and had one of the hardest conversations of my life.  The consultant said that despite my knowledge of the statistics of stillbirth and the positive impact of home birth that if I didn’t have an induction today, when stillbirth happens to me it would be a 100% chance.  They had no new measurements of baby to back this up, I had perfect CTGs and strong movements at home.  Her parting words to me were “I hope I see you tonight when you change your mind and come back.” I was fuming.  I went to bed sulking and told my family I would agree to an induction to get them off my back but didn’t actually book it.

The Magic Begins

Late that same night, period-like cramps began. Within hours, I was timing contractions and realizing – this was it!

As labour intensified, my partner and I created a cozy birthing space in our living room. We played cards, used breathing techniques, and tried to eat although I couldn’t keep anything down.

I went and sat in the nursery on my birthing ball and had a chat with baby. I talked to him for a while and then when I asked him if this was it, if he was ready to be a team and get through this together, he kicked my hand! It was so magical, I knew we were going to be perfectly okay!!

Our midwife arrived and got setup whilst we did a guided relaxation.  I alternated between the birth pool and different positions on land. When things got tough, I drew strength from my affirmations and pictures of my family.

The second midwife arrived at 10:45am and soon I was only able to be on my hands and knees for the surges. I was pushing now, with guidance from the midwives and I had my affirmations written out on some paper infront of me. When I felt a bit unsure of myself I would read them out loud one by one and it soon steadied my nerves. ‘My baby knows how and when to be born’ ‘My surges are not stronger than me because they are me’ and so on.

The Final Push

I finally got to the stage of ‘I don’t know how much longer I can do this’ but my midwife’s encouragement gave me a second wind. A new lease of life came to my body and I went totally into another zone!  With primal sounds and determination, I pushed my baby into the world at 12:45 pm. I sat back absolutely exhausted but amazed. Looking at his hair and his tiny mouth and hands. He did 3 enormous poops, one after another, all over my foot and in the blankets but I didn’t really notice. I couldn’t believe he was there!!

We had a beautiful hour of skin to skin with relaxing music in the background and honestly I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I had some tea and cookies to try and get some energy up and I was very lucky to have him feeding within half an hour. After an hour and a half I had not birthed the placenta so I did have the injection but that was much better and easier than I had pre-empted.

So 3 hours from 1st stage to birth, and another hour and a half for 3rd stage. Not the long and painful labour the consultants had told me we would experience with baby becoming compromised and intervention being essential. My baby knew how and when to be born, and my baby was the perfect size for my body! I’m glad I listened to my instincts and I had the experience I dreamed of – and I worked hard to get!!

Embracing Motherhood

My baby is 7 weeks old now and I am loving motherhood. I remind myself of the journey and I’m so proud of us every day, we are both learning so much. Make the most of every cuddle and every cry is another opportunity to soothe them, soothe yourself and build your bonds.

Only us women have the pleasure of bringing our babies into the world with our incredible bodies and strength of mind. What an amazing gift. To create and bring life to our world. If you can make it a positive experience, however and wherever you choose to give birth, it truly will change your mindset and make you feel so strong and connected to yourself and your baby.

*Dr Sara Wickham, Is Home Birth Safe? https://www.sarawickham.com/research-updates/is_home_birth_safe/